To stay or not to stay?

It's okay to want better for yourself job-wise. It's okay to pivot.

Can someone tell me why I feel guilty every time I leave a job? Each time I’ve left or been laid off, a sense of guilt has taken over me. But why? I was a good worker. I adapted to less-than-favorable conditions, and I was constantly picking up new skills to better myself. So what was the problem?

It wasn’t until I recently left a job that I realized where the guilt was coming from. Because I was always learning, working hard, and adapting quickly, I was outgrowing the role faster than the job could grow with me.

For context, the job I worked in was in the print production industry. My skill set and passion, however, are rooted in marketing and digital design. The role didn’t align with that, and I wasn’t given the opportunity to pivot within the company, so I felt stuck. Because I thought this might be my long-term path, I decided to learn everything I could about print production. At the same time, I continued to invest in my digital skills through online courses and books. I also expanded into business and communication to grow overall.

As I kept learning and evolving, I became less satisfied with staying in one lane. I wanted to apply what I had learned. That desire turned into frustration, and eventually, I slipped into a depression without even realizing it. It wasn’t until my family, my boyfriend, and even my former boss pointed it out that I saw how much I had changed. I started losing my drive—not just at work, but in commissions and even passion projects. I knew I needed to get out of that mindset, but I felt stuck in it.

I spent weeks planning things I wanted to do. Then one day, it hit me—why couldn’t I just do them? And then it hit me again: I had made my job my everything. I wasn’t using the skills I had learned because they didn’t apply to my role. I told myself I could freelance or explore other areas, but I had a full-time job with benefits and stable pay. Why would I take on more?

But for the first time in my life, my mental health was suffering for a job I didn’t even care about anymore. Of course, other factors played a role—workplace tension, being the only graphic designer, and a two-and-a-half-hour daily commute—but at my core, I was longing for something different.

Ironically, a traumatic car accident became the turning point that gave me the courage to start actively searching for new opportunities. I ended up landing a job that I’m genuinely excited to start next week. Still, I felt guilty for taking it—for a few reasons:

• I was leaving behind people I had built relationships with.

• I was the only graphic designer, so my departure would impact the business.

• As a young African American woman in design, opportunities can feel limited, so leaving one role for another still felt risky.

  
  

It wasn’t until I experienced a specific microaggression that I fully realized it was time to go. I had already put in my two weeks’ notice, but I decided to leave sooner. Almost immediately, I felt a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in years—a sense of freedom from feeling stuck.

I took away a few important lessons from this experience:

• Never limit yourself to what you do at work. Always keep learning.

• If you’re interested in another area, reach out to someone in that space and learn from them.

• A job does not define you.

• Don’t stay somewhere just for the pay or benefits if it doesn’t align with your passion or how you want to feel.

  
  

That’s where I am right now. I’m hopeful that in this next role, I’ll be able to use everything I’ve learned. You’re better than you think—give yourself more credit. I’m grateful I took the risk, because you never know where new opportunities might lead.